How many Norwoods does it take to put a crib together?

Step 1. Notice in the weekly Target ad that cribs are on sale. Discuss getting a new one for the upcoming baby.

Step 2. Do absolutely nothing about this.

Step 3. Bring Samuel's old crib up from the basement.

Step 4. Contemplate why you kept this crib since:
a) it was bought used off craigslist in Denver 4 years ago.
b) the function to raise and lower the side rails has never worked.
c) actual pieces of crib are being held on with zip ties.

Step 5. Figure everything in Step 4 really isn't all that bad and proceed to put the crib together anyway.

Step 6. Get 7 out of 8 screws to work, do their job, and actually hold pieces of the crib together.

Step 7. Attempt to get screw #8 to work.

Step 8. Repeat Step 7 until you are ready to tear your hair out.

Step 9. Decide old crib is going in the trash.

Step 10. Go to Target to buy new crib. Make sure this is one day after the crib sale is over. Because, you know, it's fun to pay more money for the exact same crib that was on sale until the DAY BEFORE.

Step 11. Decline offer from Grandpa Bob to take his truck because surely the crib will fit in the Jeep.

Step 12. Wrong.

Step 13. As helpful Target employees try to fit enormous crib box in Jeep, realize there is no way to fit yourself, your mother-in-law, your child who has not napped all day, and a super huge crib box all into 1 car.

Step 14. Call Grandpa Bob and ask him to bring his truck to Target.

Step 15. Entertain non-napping child for 15 minutes in the Target parking lot. Decide it would be a good idea to get him some popcorn from the Target snack area and let him eat it in the Jeep.

Step 16. Wonder how 1 bag of popcorn can make such a huge mess.

Step 17. See Grandpa Bob arrive. Have Target employees load crib into the back of his truck.

Step 18. Drive home and unload super huge crib box. Ignore the fact that somehow the popcorn has multiplied and now there is more popcorn on the floor of the Jeep than there was originally in the bag you purchased.

Step 19. Rejoice that screws on this crib actually work and that there are no zip ties in the hardware packet.

Step 20. Take picture of new crib for blog (coming soon.)

Step 21. Fill with baby (also coming soon.)